that’s not my name

 

A little something for the young people to listen to this evening while the rest of us break out our slippers, cuddle up in front of the fire and settle down for a story from the archives of:

Ω What I’ve been reading Wednesdays Ω
(or whatever day it happens to be when I’m posting this)

Recently, I paid a visit to the rather excellent Northern Walker blog to read about recent developments with the only other Surly Troll I know of in Northern England. I’m assured there are loads of others but I’ve certainly never seen one… now I come to mention it, despite us living relatively close to each other and frequenting the same bike shop on an all too regular basis, I never even seen this one in the flesh err… steel.

But I digress.

Originally christened ‘Tango’, the Northern Walker’s Troll has recently been treated to a whole load of new shiny including the eye-wateringly expensive but (according to what I’ve read) the-very-best-money-can-buy 14 speed Rolhoff internal gear hub. Behold: ‘The Trolloff’.

Dutifully obeying the n + 1 equation, next up on the Northern Walker shopping list (after some suitably distracting shiny for the missus, no doubt) will be a Surly ECR with the considerably cheaper Shimano Alfine internal gear hub. You can read more about how to pronounce ‘Alfine’ and various musings on said hub here.

During such musings, I somehow decided it would be a good idea to buy a set of spare wheels from our freaklishly tall friend and we arranged a secret rendezvous somewhere in t’ North whilst I was on punishment duty selling delicious cakes to the masses from the incredibly excellent Karen’s Baking Room.

You of course know me as Jimmy Phoenix of lifeinthecyclelane fame but I’m sorry to say my real name is much less interesting… I am known in some circles as ‘The Drizzle Monkey’ (don’t ask) and at work I’m all too often referred to as ‘Slave Boy’ (no really, don’t ask)… but whatever my name actually is, what I did to our friend who so kindly came all the way down to deliver some obscenely cheap wheels to me is simply unforgivable.

Yep, I overcharged him for cake. Massively.

Later that same day, I knowingly sold non-gluten free, sugar laden cake to a celiac and a diabetic.

I also talked an impressionable young lady into buying a whole load more cake than she wanted or needed. And convinced her she was getting a killer deal. Which she wasn’t.

I am SO going to hell.

Anyhoo… all this talk of new shiny has gotten me all itchy and that vacuum in the workshop which I abhor so really needs to be filled. Soon.

Until yesterday, my PayPal balance was really quite healthy and then, in a moment of sheer indulgence last night, I blew the lot on (almost) all of the parts I’m going to need for my next bike build:

  • Shimano Alfine 8 speed internal gear hub built into a 700c wheel and small parts kit
  • Shimano Alfine dynamo disc hub built into a 700c wheel
  • 160mm rear and 203mm front Shimano centre lock brake discs
  • Shimano Alfine 39t chainset and 20t rear cog
  • Jtek bar end shifter

Lying around in the workshop I have:

  • Cane Creek SCR-5 & crosstop brake levers
  • On One Midge bars
  • Avid BB5 road disc brake calipers
  • Brooks saddle
  • Schwalbe spiked winter tyres
  • Various other bits and bobs

All of which will be bolted onto an army green 29er steel frame with rigid fork, more braze ons than you can shake a stick at, horizontal dropouts and dedicated BOB / Surly trailer mounts…

Oh yes I did.

I’ve got my name on what I’m reliably told is the last 18″ Army Green Surly Ogre in the UK.

There are only 2 problems:

  1. It’s currently built up as a demo bike in the bike shop, and
  2. Because of my recent splurging, I have plenty of boxes of bits on the way but insufficient ‘spare’ money to buy the sodding frameset!

I suppose I’ll just have to get out there and sell my body more cake.

In any event, before too long I shall be inviting you to behold ‘The Roadgre’.

See what I did there?

Hello?

Is this thing on?

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